Why do people still commit crimes in Metropolis? I have never understood this. This is where Superman lives, his home base, his chosen city which he has pledged to defend, and people still continually commit crimes there. I mean, I suppose the occasional mugger might get away with something just by the law of averages since even Superman can’t be everywhere at once, but a big, noisy bank heist? An armored car hijacking? Odds are the guy in the cape is going to step in and ruin all those carefully laid plans. And what about the really massive stuff? Huge alien attacks, giant robotic armies, whatever sort of new death ray Lex Luthor built in his garage this week, they always target the one spot on the planet that has an essentially invulnerable, super-strong demigod protecting it. And this happens every single week!

Folks, wake up! This guy has not lost a fight in over fifty years (Doomsday doesn’t count) and whatever you have planned, he’s going to most likely stop you. You’ve spent months working on your big plan: scheduling timetables, recruiting henchmen, securing weapons– why waste all that effort? So here’s what you do: Take your dastardly master plan and just relocate it. Rob a bank in Iowa. Land your invading alien horde in Wyoming somewhere. Use your mind ray to enslave Topeka or something. Your odds of success are going to increase astronomically. Oh, sure, he might still get wind of what you’re up to and try to put a stop to it, but he’s got travel time, has to check the map first, there’s air traffic to consider… It might just buy you enough time to get away.