So every four years we collectively pretend that February has an extra day so our calendar system holds up. Does this strike anyone else as a just a little deranged? We act like time is something that can be saved up, collected and cashed in like box tops. What’s the big deal? Time is a human invention and, like most things, we whizzed it. So our yearly clock is off a little. That’s no reason to try and alter reality. It’s March 1st and we all know it. Let’s end the charade.

And to any adult out there who was born on February 29 and is still making that lame “I’m only eight years old” joke, I say this: You’re only eight? Super! Give me your car keys, hand over your beer, and get back to the second grade where you belong. Pay extra attention to math this time.